Looking back.... and ahead

Josh and I decided to take the kids to Moose Head Lake on Saturday. It is about a 6 hour round trip car ride for us. We decided to do it all in one day. Josh's grandfather owns a camp up that way and Josh has always wanted to show the boys. Josh's grandfather passed away when Mason was a baby and William although never had the honor to meet him carries on his name.

So we got up early loaded the car and ventured off on our long journey. As we arrived closer to our destination I thought about the last time I took the drive this way. It was over 7 years earlier for Josh and My honeymoon. I glanced in the back seat at the three kids arguing in the back and realized just how different our lives were today then they were when our own personal journey had begun what seemed like forever ago.

We spent the day (when not in the car) going to different places that were special to Josh. The boys really seemed to enjoy seeing the camp and going through a few stores. They seemed to enjoy fighting, and taking turns on who could whine the most in the car as well.

For me it was a day of reflection and memories. When Josh and I took the drive all those years before. We were alone in the car. We only had one child at home. We had only been married for 24 hours or less. We were pretty sure we had our future figured out and planned. We talked about what we would name our babies and all the other fun things the future held for us. We have def. had a great 7.5 years, however looking back it is interesting to me that we did not see the problems, struggles, or heartache that may lie ahead for us. We have built a family along the way as well as turned our house into a home. We have learned more about love, and sadly we have learned more about loss. I would like to say Looking back I would not change a thing, but I have never been one for that expression. Of course there are things I would change, or avoid. Words I would think longer and harder about before saying. I would strive to be a better wife and mother. However we can not go back, only ahead.

As I held the same hand tightly that I had held on the very same drive 7.5 years before I realized that if we were to take this same drive in another 7 years I would be having the same thoughts. I will have learned more about love and loss by then. I will have overcome more struggles. I would and will have enjoyed many many happy moments. I think the only thing I can do is live in the present, remember the past, and hope for the best future ever. In the end, none of us really know what is out there for us. No one really knows how our story will go, or how it will end.