My baby turned 3...

I have spent quite a few weeks thinking of the fact that William was turning 3. I knew it was going to be a hard for me. It said goodbye to all baby things. Not only for him but for me. There is something about that last baby turning 3 and leaving behind his baby years that was really different then any other birthdays I have experienced with him or the other boys. I watched him play a lot over the last few days and suddenly over night this baby who use to want to be held, cuddled and carried around is now a little boy. He wants to play with his brothers, and go outside, and talks about his friends at school. We made such a big deal over his birthday this year because it was really the first birthday he truly understood the concept of. I think I made a big deal about it for myself as well. I was at work on his birthday this year and he was home with his dad. I kept feeling a little tug on my heart that day. I asked myself if I was really ready to say goodbye to all baby things, and move forward as a family of 5. With three little boys. I pondered this and even questioned choices I had made in the past. Maybe I wanted another baby? Then after a few days of this bothering me I sat at the supper table with my three "big" boys as they talked about the day and William chimed in as if he knew exactly what they were talking about. It was then that it hit me. That right here in front of my I had the exact little family that god intended for me and Josh. Although I leave the baby stages behind with tears. I leave them behind with wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. I look forward to the future and to making many new memories. As I said good night to my birthday boy that night. I had a sudden flash back of him at birth. He was struggling in the NICU at hospital after recently being transported there. I kissed him on the head and thanked god that we were here 3 years later with this healthy, happy, ENERGETIC, three year old. Would I really want to go back? No I guess not. That is what memories and photos are for.