Sunday, December 4, 2011

 

 

 

 
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My baby turned 3...

I have spent quite a few weeks thinking of the fact that William was turning 3. I knew it was going to be a hard for me. It said goodbye to all baby things. Not only for him but for me. There is something about that last baby turning 3 and leaving behind his baby years that was really different then any other birthdays I have experienced with him or the other boys. I watched him play a lot over the last few days and suddenly over night this baby who use to want to be held, cuddled and carried around is now a little boy. He wants to play with his brothers, and go outside, and talks about his friends at school. We made such a big deal over his birthday this year because it was really the first birthday he truly understood the concept of. I think I made a big deal about it for myself as well. I was at work on his birthday this year and he was home with his dad. I kept feeling a little tug on my heart that day. I asked myself if I was really ready to say goodbye to all baby things, and move forward as a family of 5. With three little boys. I pondered this and even questioned choices I had made in the past. Maybe I wanted another baby? Then after a few days of this bothering me I sat at the supper table with my three "big" boys as they talked about the day and William chimed in as if he knew exactly what they were talking about. It was then that it hit me. That right here in front of my I had the exact little family that god intended for me and Josh. Although I leave the baby stages behind with tears. I leave them behind with wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. I look forward to the future and to making many new memories. As I said good night to my birthday boy that night. I had a sudden flash back of him at birth. He was struggling in the NICU at hospital after recently being transported there. I kissed him on the head and thanked god that we were here 3 years later with this healthy, happy, ENERGETIC, three year old. Would I really want to go back? No I guess not. That is what memories and photos are for.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

 
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Birthday month........

I have been unable to get into my blog for nearly a month. It kept giving me errors and redirecting me to start a new one. I am so glad I did not give up on it though because today it finally let me in....... =-)

Well here we are it is already November. Another birthday is among Josh and I. We are one day apart both turning 30? Or the "dirty 30" as I recently heard it called. Not sure I dare even wonder what that means.

Yup. Marrying Josh officially took over my birthday eve. I use to be so excited when November 8th rolled around every year. I would get the Christmas Eve little girl feeling knowing there was excitement in store for me the next day. Well I have been married for nearly 7 years and with Josh for 9...so those Birthday Eves as I loved to call them have been replaced by Joshua's actual birthday. I would like to argue with him when he says it is not my birthday eve but his birthday. Then I realize he wins this one. I can not change that. I mean who starts dating someone and tries to figure out what their birthday is the first date so it will not mess with you birthday eve... <----- not this girl. Only because I never thought of it of course. So all you ladies out there that are dating. CHECK OUT THOSE BIRTHDAYS sooner rather then later...... LOL
Things are still as crazy as ever in this house. We really would not have it any other way. There is always some place to be at. OR home work to help with. Or a little boy to lay with since he def. can not get to sleep with out me in there.. =-) As I approach my 30th birthday with mixed emotions. I really do not see how I could be anything but thankful for everything I have been blessed with........

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Warm Pj time is here

 








. I have packed away the summer clothes and pulled out the fall and winter. Winter pjs I do admit are my favorite they always give me the urge to give them a bath, wash their hair with baby magic shampoo and then rock them in front of the woodstove. Well of course Dylan would think I was nuts if I tried that with him or put him in matching pjs with his brothers. SO I will settle for the another winter of doing it with the little two. Before I know they will also be pushing me away and saying YEAH RIGHT or AS IF.
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Monday, October 3, 2011

Busy? Yeah you could say that.

We have been running from school, to soccer, to birthday parties and more for the last month. The kids have been crazy busy with school and activities. I went back to work part time. So life around our house has been at a new level of busy. The boys play soccer a combined 4 times a week. Then of course there are games and parties and life that fill our weekends. I wish I could say I see things slowing down soon, but basketball forms went in the mail today for both boys so there is no end in sight at this point. I think I actually love our crazy beautiful life. The boys are growing so fast. William is 2 months shy of his third birthday. Dylan is a total preteen and Mason is just way cool sine starting Kindergarten. He even told Will that the word "poop" is not funny anymore when you are in K. I muffled my laughs at that one. Josh and I are just keeping our heads above water trying to keep up with our jobs, the boys, and life in general. Some day we may have a date night and re introduce ourselves to one another. =-)
I am sad because sometimes I feel like we do not have as much time for our extended family and that the boys friends and their parents are becoming people we see more then our own. However I guess that is just a part of growing up. I have lucked out too because the boys friends have wonderful families that I do not mind sharing games and birthday party talk with all of them. Well that is just a quick update on the house. I will try to upload some photos later on <---hopefully sooner rather then later.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Slacker...<--- that's me

Between the boys going back to school, me opening an online resale store, and me going back to work part time. I have been and will continue to be crazy busy through the winter. I realized today that if I do not stop, take the time, and write from day to day I will be very sad one day looking back. So I know a few of you contacted me asking me if everything is okay since I have been MIA, we are fine. Great really. I promise to be back more.... =-)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

First Day Of School.....

 

 

 






The much talked about (the boys) and cried about (me) first day of school has arrived. I am sure I have so much more to say about this, but I am still digesting the fact that Mason is in school all day..................
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Monday, August 29, 2011

The time has come....

 

 

 

 





I could not help myself tonight. I sat in Mason's room and watched him sleep. I have watched him sleep many nights over the years, when he had a cold, or a fever. Tonight was different I was watching him sleep just starring at him taking it all in. Wondering how five years have passed when all I did was blink my eyes. I wondered how tomorrow morning I am suppose to turn him over to the school. After spending 24 hours a day with this child since birth. I kept thinking it was not fair. That the five years went by too fast. I kept thinking I wanted them back and that I wanted a redo. Then he turned over, letting out this peaceful sigh. It brought tears to my eyes. I reminded myself that this was the next step in his life. Tomorrow as he wakes he will begin a new chapter in his life. One full of learning and friends, one full of fun and excitement, heart ache and tears. He will enter school. He will climb aboard that bus and will be gone. I realized he does not need a redo. He has had a great five years home with me. It is time for him and me to move on and begin the next chapter. Am I ready to let go of my baby? Of course not. Am I crying like a fool as I type this and as I watched him sleep? Yes, and will I cry as he leaves for school tomorow????? With out a a doubt. He was mixed with both excitement and fear tonight as I read him three books and talked about school. He was full of questions and anticipation of what tomorrow will bring for him. Will he see his cousins in the hall? Will he be able to find me at the end of the day? I reassured him the best I could all evening and as I planted one last kiss on his forehead and Palm. He looked two years old again as he told me his "tummy" was nervous. I forced a smile and let him know that mine was just a little nervous too. Not because of anything bad, just because I was excited for him. I reminded him of the Kissing Hand..... Thanks Nessa!!! I gently kissed his palm once more. My heart melted as he reached over and kissed mine as well. A piece of my heart will go with him tomorrow. He does not think he is ready, I never will think he is ready. Either way the time has come. I watched him sleep, took a few photos and thanked him for 5 of the best years of my life.................
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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Today...we celebrate a nap.....

 




I have told Josh over and over again that I wish William was a better napper and sleeper all around. After 2.5 years of this we have both basically given up hope that he will ever nap or go to bed at night like a normal child. He can stay awake all hours of the night with out a nap. He can go and go when I want to crash. I have begged him, bribed him, and tried tricking him into sleeping... I have offered him , candy , toys, and money. Nope. He usually comes out of his room about 24 times a night. Super Nanny would have nothing on this kid at bed time. We have waited outside his door to catch him getting up. We have peeked in his windown, set up a video monitor. HE always wins and has now been on a napping during the day time strike for nearly 2 weeks. Today the lack of sleep got the best of him while playing with the dog.
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The simple things

 





There is less than two weeks until Dylan starts 6th grade and Mason starts kindergarten . I suddenly realized yesterday that the Summer is quickly coming to an end. I was really sad at first. Then I started to reflect on the times we had this Summer both good and bad. The good most definitely out weighed the bad. I have decided to take the next the rest of the Summer for us. To spend the rest of the Summer just having fun with the boys. Even if it is simple silly fun. Today we took an adventure to the Maine Wild life Park. We had so much fun. It was just me and the boys. We had no one to worry about but ourselves. There was no rush and no time limits. I simply enjoyed a lazy Summer day with them. Watching them enjoy the simple things in life today. I am truly thankful for these three blessings that I have been given. Although some times they Fight more than get along, scream more than talk, and whine more than relax, there is not a simple thing about them I would change. Sometimes it is important to take a step back, take a deep breath and truly remember what we have in life.
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Monday, August 1, 2011

Off to camp he goes....

 

 

 

 

 

 




Back in April Dylan came home very excited and let us know that a man came to the school and told them about an essay contest they would enter for a chance to win a 600$$ scholarship to a nature camp. He said So... "I know you hate me leaving <--- then came the BUT- If I wrote a great essay and WON could I go?" Well me apparently not being very optimistic thought. There is going to be tons of kids entering .................and told him with out much though. OF course honey. In the back of my head I never thought about it again. Well not only did Dylan write that essay......... HE WON~~~~ I chose a week late in Summer giving myself much more time to mentally prepare myself to leave my first born overnight for 5 nights. WITH NO phone contact. It is a no news is good news policy. So the summer went by rapidly and the day came (yesterday) that we made the hour drive to drop him off a camp. My heart broke as I walked away from him. He gave me the nervous smile and joined one of his bunk mates (that he had met 4 minutes before) I tried not to look back but I did. 20 or 30 times before getting to the car. I had all I could do from running back, hugging him again and asking him if he was sure he wanted to stay. I know that would of been a major MOM FAIL on my part and probably pretty embarrassing to him. Not so much the asking him but the me hugging him, blubbering like a fool and begging him to come with me. He would of been named "the kid with the crazy mom" for the week. So instead I pushed forward got into the car and then cried. He has now been there for 24 hours. I wonder every hour what he is doing, who he is with, if he is eating enough. He is 11. I know this is a great chance for him to gain some independance and perhaps for me to learn to give him that freedom. It does not make it easy though. Since hiding in the woods with binoculars is creepy, weird and probably would get me arrested. I will instead think about him, worry about him and count down the days until he returns........

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Friday, July 29, 2011

My three sons............... =-)

 
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Since I am an honest person......

 




I get a lot of compliments on how great people think the boy's pictures are after I have taken them. I always smile and say thank you. What I really want to say is YOU HAVE NO IDEA~~~ Getting this one shot took me 45 minutes, 111 shots, 2 outfit changes (and not because they were part of the plan), probably cost be about 25$$ in bribes, and 2.5 screaming and crying children. Here is a little proof of our last photo shoot. I guess all that matters is that in the end. I get my perfect shot, and they get whatever thing I bribed them with......... =-)
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It's a hard knock life... For him....

 





It's great when you can sleep as peaceful as this in your parents bed with out a care in the world.............
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Lazy Summer Days...

 




I was doing my usual puttering around the house getting everything picked up and ready for another day. I glanced at the calendar, it made me stop dead in my tracks. The realization hit me. I had just about ONE month left of having my boys ALL home with me for Summer Vacation. I think I heard my heart break. The thought of sending two of them off in the fall makes me so sad. I love LOVE LOVE having them all home with me in the summer. Having lazy days with no plans, then suddenly deciding to go on an adventure. Do not get me wrong the last month has been great. It just went by too fast. We have already been to the ocean, camping and a bunch of mini adventures. However it is never enough. Never long enough. Sitting here today watching them endure in their summer play makes me smile. I am going to sit back, take a deep breath and be thankful for the time I have home with them over the next month.............................. <3
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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Fathers and Sons

 

 

 




I have often heard the words... the most important role model in a young child's life is the same sex parent. I use to shrug that off and think NAH............. Well years later although I still do not entirely agree with the statement I do see valid points in it. Now as Dylan is approaching his pre teen years. I can see just how important that father/son bond is in his life. I see him watch Josh and often do things similar. I often hear him say the words to me "well dad says" Or "dad did this or that" I sometimes think Josh can be too "hard" on him but then realize he is just shaping him into the boy he needs to be and teaching him in a love and respectful way. Dylan does not always like Josh's approach and often whines and argues with him. Most of the time he comes back to us a few days later and says " you know what.. dad may have been right" Of course that will not stop him from whining and arguing again in the future.

I have watched Josh walk our fussing babies up and down the hall and take the boys out to play after a 12 hour day at work. I know he would like to be resting but always knows the importance of this time with them. I hear myself complaining sometimes when he does not help around the house or give me a breather. However looking back I would not change a thing. He is absolutely the father these boys need and deserve.

People get caught up in the unimportant things in life sometimes. I myself sometimes wish he would bring me flowers and sweep me off my feet like he use to with his little gifts and extra attention. I find myself wishing he would do those little things that made me fall in love with him in the first place. Then I see him scoop up our crying child and console him. I watch him try not to move off the couch so he does not wake our sleeping toddler from his lap. Then I remember I did not need flowers or jewelry. I just fell in love with him all over again.
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Friday, July 8, 2011

A camping we will go..........................

We are heading out to the campground in about 2 hours. Dylan and Mason have asked me so many times this morning if it was time to leave yet. I almost suggested they go wait outside....=-) They are so excited to leave. I remember being so excited to go when I was their age and I am very happy to be able to carry on the tradition with my own kids with the same wonderful family I always shared my camping experience with.

So .......Mason has decided he needs to bring pretty much EVERYTHING he owns. I told him that there was not enough room in the car. He told me I could take Dylan's stuff out... =-) <----what a brother.

I give a lot of credit to my mom now. Looking back I was so ready to go out the door as a kid I never noticed how much work it took my mother to get all three of us packed and make sure we have everything we need. I have spent the last three days doing just that and I still have lots left to do. We plan on leaving here at 2pm on the dot. My guess is we will be lucky if we leave by 3pm. If I can get the car loaded and everything taken care of and ALL the boys in the car with out leaving anyone or anything behind I will be doing great.

My other goal is to have the tent set up before Josh arrives tonight. For some reason unless my dad and uncles come to my rescue that is probably not going to happen.

It is three days of packing and 4 days of unpacking but in the end it will be worth the three days of fun and memories that we will be making.................

Thursday, July 7, 2011

little moments like this.......

 





So after fightng for hours upon hours. Listening to the the words." He is touching me." Over and Over...Followed by " I am telling mom" and "he started it" Thinking that the fighting was never going to end. I turned around and there the three of them sit. Like perfect Angels together on the couch the other day. I had to sprint for my camera. I mean I knew this moment would be over in a blink of an eye.................. and it was. =-)
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Monday, July 4, 2011

4th of July

 




4th of July is full of so many adventures. A weekend we look forward to every year that comes and goes in a blink of an eye. Another great one this year to ad to our list of memories we will forever cherish....
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