Wednesday, August 31, 2011

First Day Of School.....

 

 

 






The much talked about (the boys) and cried about (me) first day of school has arrived. I am sure I have so much more to say about this, but I am still digesting the fact that Mason is in school all day..................
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Monday, August 29, 2011

The time has come....

 

 

 

 





I could not help myself tonight. I sat in Mason's room and watched him sleep. I have watched him sleep many nights over the years, when he had a cold, or a fever. Tonight was different I was watching him sleep just starring at him taking it all in. Wondering how five years have passed when all I did was blink my eyes. I wondered how tomorrow morning I am suppose to turn him over to the school. After spending 24 hours a day with this child since birth. I kept thinking it was not fair. That the five years went by too fast. I kept thinking I wanted them back and that I wanted a redo. Then he turned over, letting out this peaceful sigh. It brought tears to my eyes. I reminded myself that this was the next step in his life. Tomorrow as he wakes he will begin a new chapter in his life. One full of learning and friends, one full of fun and excitement, heart ache and tears. He will enter school. He will climb aboard that bus and will be gone. I realized he does not need a redo. He has had a great five years home with me. It is time for him and me to move on and begin the next chapter. Am I ready to let go of my baby? Of course not. Am I crying like a fool as I type this and as I watched him sleep? Yes, and will I cry as he leaves for school tomorow????? With out a a doubt. He was mixed with both excitement and fear tonight as I read him three books and talked about school. He was full of questions and anticipation of what tomorrow will bring for him. Will he see his cousins in the hall? Will he be able to find me at the end of the day? I reassured him the best I could all evening and as I planted one last kiss on his forehead and Palm. He looked two years old again as he told me his "tummy" was nervous. I forced a smile and let him know that mine was just a little nervous too. Not because of anything bad, just because I was excited for him. I reminded him of the Kissing Hand..... Thanks Nessa!!! I gently kissed his palm once more. My heart melted as he reached over and kissed mine as well. A piece of my heart will go with him tomorrow. He does not think he is ready, I never will think he is ready. Either way the time has come. I watched him sleep, took a few photos and thanked him for 5 of the best years of my life.................
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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Today...we celebrate a nap.....

 




I have told Josh over and over again that I wish William was a better napper and sleeper all around. After 2.5 years of this we have both basically given up hope that he will ever nap or go to bed at night like a normal child. He can stay awake all hours of the night with out a nap. He can go and go when I want to crash. I have begged him, bribed him, and tried tricking him into sleeping... I have offered him , candy , toys, and money. Nope. He usually comes out of his room about 24 times a night. Super Nanny would have nothing on this kid at bed time. We have waited outside his door to catch him getting up. We have peeked in his windown, set up a video monitor. HE always wins and has now been on a napping during the day time strike for nearly 2 weeks. Today the lack of sleep got the best of him while playing with the dog.
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The simple things

 





There is less than two weeks until Dylan starts 6th grade and Mason starts kindergarten . I suddenly realized yesterday that the Summer is quickly coming to an end. I was really sad at first. Then I started to reflect on the times we had this Summer both good and bad. The good most definitely out weighed the bad. I have decided to take the next the rest of the Summer for us. To spend the rest of the Summer just having fun with the boys. Even if it is simple silly fun. Today we took an adventure to the Maine Wild life Park. We had so much fun. It was just me and the boys. We had no one to worry about but ourselves. There was no rush and no time limits. I simply enjoyed a lazy Summer day with them. Watching them enjoy the simple things in life today. I am truly thankful for these three blessings that I have been given. Although some times they Fight more than get along, scream more than talk, and whine more than relax, there is not a simple thing about them I would change. Sometimes it is important to take a step back, take a deep breath and truly remember what we have in life.
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Monday, August 1, 2011

Off to camp he goes....

 

 

 

 

 

 




Back in April Dylan came home very excited and let us know that a man came to the school and told them about an essay contest they would enter for a chance to win a 600$$ scholarship to a nature camp. He said So... "I know you hate me leaving <--- then came the BUT- If I wrote a great essay and WON could I go?" Well me apparently not being very optimistic thought. There is going to be tons of kids entering .................and told him with out much though. OF course honey. In the back of my head I never thought about it again. Well not only did Dylan write that essay......... HE WON~~~~ I chose a week late in Summer giving myself much more time to mentally prepare myself to leave my first born overnight for 5 nights. WITH NO phone contact. It is a no news is good news policy. So the summer went by rapidly and the day came (yesterday) that we made the hour drive to drop him off a camp. My heart broke as I walked away from him. He gave me the nervous smile and joined one of his bunk mates (that he had met 4 minutes before) I tried not to look back but I did. 20 or 30 times before getting to the car. I had all I could do from running back, hugging him again and asking him if he was sure he wanted to stay. I know that would of been a major MOM FAIL on my part and probably pretty embarrassing to him. Not so much the asking him but the me hugging him, blubbering like a fool and begging him to come with me. He would of been named "the kid with the crazy mom" for the week. So instead I pushed forward got into the car and then cried. He has now been there for 24 hours. I wonder every hour what he is doing, who he is with, if he is eating enough. He is 11. I know this is a great chance for him to gain some independance and perhaps for me to learn to give him that freedom. It does not make it easy though. Since hiding in the woods with binoculars is creepy, weird and probably would get me arrested. I will instead think about him, worry about him and count down the days until he returns........

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