The time has come....

 

 

 

 

I could not help myself tonight. I sat in Mason's room and watched him sleep. I have watched him sleep many nights over the years, when he had a cold, or a fever. Tonight was different I was watching him sleep just starring at him taking it all in. Wondering how five years have passed when all I did was blink my eyes. I wondered how tomorrow morning I am suppose to turn him over to the school. After spending 24 hours a day with this child since birth. I kept thinking it was not fair. That the five years went by too fast. I kept thinking I wanted them back and that I wanted a redo. Then he turned over, letting out this peaceful sigh. It brought tears to my eyes. I reminded myself that this was the next step in his life. Tomorrow as he wakes he will begin a new chapter in his life. One full of learning and friends, one full of fun and excitement, heart ache and tears. He will enter school. He will climb aboard that bus and will be gone. I realized he does not need a redo. He has had a great five years home with me. It is time for him and me to move on and begin the next chapter. Am I ready to let go of my baby? Of course not. Am I crying like a fool as I type this and as I watched him sleep? Yes, and will I cry as he leaves for school tomorow????? With out a a doubt. He was mixed with both excitement and fear tonight as I read him three books and talked about school. He was full of questions and anticipation of what tomorrow will bring for him. Will he see his cousins in the hall? Will he be able to find me at the end of the day? I reassured him the best I could all evening and as I planted one last kiss on his forehead and Palm. He looked two years old again as he told me his "tummy" was nervous. I forced a smile and let him know that mine was just a little nervous too. Not because of anything bad, just because I was excited for him. I reminded him of the Kissing Hand..... Thanks Nessa!!! I gently kissed his palm once more. My heart melted as he reached over and kissed mine as well. A piece of my heart will go with him tomorrow. He does not think he is ready, I never will think he is ready. Either way the time has come. I watched him sleep, took a few photos and thanked him for 5 of the best years of my life.................