New Years Eve ..

I look back at New Years Eve. The past New Years Eves that is. How different things have become over the years. When I was younger I looked forward to this night. I knew it meant lots of fun with friends. I would think ahead about the perfect outfit and shoes. Who would be there and who I would go with.

These days the focus of New Years Eve is a family party and whether or not we will have enough snow in time for them to Slide with their cousins that night. To some this may sound boring but to me it has just became a way of life. The little things are less important these days and making the boys smile is on the top of my list. I am not even sure where I would go if I went "out" for New Years Eve these days. I do not think I have gone "out" for New Years Eve in years and years. Def. not since I have been married. we go to a family party in our little town, we eat and talk, and the kids go sliding. I am used to chasing a toddler and watching another child in the window as they slide down the hill hoping they do not take out there cousin at the bottom before she/he has time to move out of the way. This year William is now 4 which means he can join the "sliders" outside and he will be the one I am windown watching this year with no toddler crying to join them outside.

Time sure has flown. I was watching Dylan just a few short years ago while hanging inside with Mason, then Mason moved to the outside boys, and I had William inside. This year they are all old enough to go outside and enjoy the evening with their cousins making memories that will last them a life time. We will bring in another new year all snug in our beds by 10pm... because we know they will NOT be able to stay up until mid night. Pretty sure I will be bringing it in the same way. Who knows what 2013 has in store for us? No one does? I just pray for happiness and health for my family. If we have that to work with. 2013 can be anything we make of it.

Christmas came and went....

Christmas is one of those many occasions that you feel you spend so much time and money preparing for and then it is over in the blink of an eye. We had a good Christmas here . The boys and myself were once again spoiled.
Having children ages 4, 6, and 12 makes christmas much different then 3 years ago when they were 1, 3, and 9. They really seemed to understand and enjoy every aspect of the holidays this year. They seemed to appreciate and love all the gifts they received. No one needed a nap (except me) no one was tired or grouchy (again except me ) However the day was over with the blink of an eye and we were left standing in a pile of bows, paper, legos and army men. Josh took the day after off to help me get the house back together. We managed to get it all put away and the tree and decorations down until next year when we do it all over again.

2013 is only days away. When I was a kid that year sounded so far away. Now here it is among us. I look back at the past 13 years .. which will be how long it has been since i graduated highschool. I had big hopes and dreams, many of them have become realities. Those that have no yet turned out that way. I will vow to try to change over the next year. Being happier, appreciating the little things. Loving unconditionally. Forgiving and forgetting. Becoming the person I am proud of on the inside and out. 2013 will be a year for changes in my life. I am never the sappy blogger.. but I guess today I am.

TURN off the tv. stop looking online, put down the newspaper? ALL advice people have given to one another about how to avoid the horror that struck our country, NEW ENGLAND at that. Really? If we pretend it did not happen it does not ease the pain of the victims families, it does not bring back the victims. Just because we are not in the same town does not mean we can pretend it did not happen and can pretend that a devastating event did not happen in a small town only a few states away. That peoples lives, CHILDRENS lives were taken. The fact that someone would walk into a school with the thought of hurting kids on his mind terrifies me. I am sad for the adults, In my eyes they are heroes. They were not fearing for their own safety they were fearing for the safety of the children. The term innocent victims does not even hit close enough to what these children were? Innocent. Yes. Also, tiny, helpless, carefree. They never thought that getting in the morning and sitting in the same classroom that they have been for months, would end any other way that day then having them home safely with their parents by dinner time. The thought of anything other then that never went through the minds, of the parents or teachers either. Of anyone that sent their child to school that day.

My heart breaks for the victims who lost their lives and for the victims that survived this at of evil. Their lives will forever be changed again. How do you convince a child that they are safe in their school? How do you convince yourself?

As much as I want to honor the victims, seeing this all over the news terrifies me. I fear that there is someone else out there teetering on the bridge of insanity that will see this. Look that at the shooter and see the publicity, the people asking why and the story on every news channel in the nation and so how think they would like to do this as well. To carry on a name for themselves. EVIL. Unfortunately their are others out there who are just as EVIL.

The thought of sending my six year old back to school this morning is frightening. Is anyone safe anymore? We knew the malls, movie theaters, colleges, and high schools have been attacked in the past. ADD 20 innocent first graders to that list and the answer is no. No one is 100% safe anymore.

As the parents and families lay their fallen family members to rest this week. I pray. My heart breaks for them during a season that is suppose to be joyous and full of family and traditions. Christmas will never be the same for them again. I am sitting here 3 states away and I am unsure it will ever be the same for me.

My heart and prayers are with all of those effected by this tragic and senseless act. =(

The holiday season is among us....

Well here we are. MY FAV time of year. It is full of busy crazy organized and unorganized chaos. Much like my life. So its the last week of November and my baby is only days a way from turning 4? Eeek where has that time gone. I know it will be an emotional day for me. Much like his birth. I watch him every day with awe and amazement. However I will save that blog for after this birthday when I can update on the event.

Christmas season is here. It immediately follows Thanksgiving and Williams birthday. I am ready for it this year. If anything I have learned lately to appreciate the simple things. To grasp every single day and make the most of it. Dance in the rain. Sing when you do not know the words. Hug those who need a hug and those who do not think they do. Enjoy life. It can change in the biink of an eye. We all myself included spend too much time being petty. Dwelling on little things and stressing over unimportant things.

This season I am going to get all the decorations out. I am going to blast the music on Sunday and set the house up for Christmas. I am going to get the kids involved and spend the next few weeks getting them pyched for Christmas. This of course is assuming they all are able to get themselves off the naughty list... =)

Halloween ends and the "holiday season begins"

I did not get into Halloween this year as much as years in the past. I did not throw a party or really decorate the house that much. It came upon us all too fast this year. I let the boys choose a costume from our costume bin because everything they wanted to be this year we already owned. I let them pick from the bin and then I added pieces as needed. Dylan was up in the air about whether or not 12 year old kids dressed up. i assured him he did but he did not believe me. He found himself sitting, sulking at his grams house at 5pm after a day at school taught him that most of them were dressing up because lets face it. EVERYONE like free candy. His gram came to the rescue and threw him together a last minute costume. Mason was afraid of and and cried. Will decided to nickname Dylan :GORILLA BREATH: all night in the back seat due to the Gorilla costume and perhaps Dylans breath. So you can just imagine what a joy the three of them were stuck in the back seat together. All across one row with Dylan sitting in between the two little ones. Mason crying because Dylan as scarring him, Will complaining of Gorilla breath and Dylan asking for the millionth time why we did not have a third row back seat so he did not have to "deal with them" I assured him that if he got out and walked he would not have to deal with them. He did stop complaining for a few minutes.

I officially call the day after Halloween the HOLIDAY season. The stores that have not already put out Christmas displays will start to do so. A christmas song will be found on the radio every once in awhile while scanning the stations in the car. The kids will start to point while SCREAMING " I WANT THAT FOR CHRISTMAS" during every other toy commercial. =)

I use to be a good mom and grab a pen and jot down all the wants and compile lists with each kids names written across the top of the paper with stars near the ones they wanted most. Honestly now when the yelling starts during a commercial I say. "oh maybe" sometimes with out glancing up. I do however try to take a mental note to google it later and decide if it is really practical or something that will get played with at all. With three boys we have gotten pretty much every
"boy toy" known to man over the years. Some of them are big hits, but some of them make their way into the closet after a week to never be heard from again. Reminds me of toy story. The unwanted sitting on the top shelf waiting to be played with someday. I also am making a mental note to NOT buy gifts that are going to be connected to the box with 4 thousand twisty plastic things that take 4 hours per leg of the super hero to get off. Mean while the child waiting for the gift is jumping up and down at this point with impatience. seriously, I think we spend hours undoing all those little twisty tie things.

All kidding aside I LOVE LOVE LOVE the holidays. My favorite time a year. I plan on completely getting into them this year. =) we do not have a lot of years left with them all being young and loving Christmas. This year the little two are beyond excited for Christmas and the oldest ....well he loves it because he likes us to buy him expensive over prices electronics that he is just going to lose or leave some place anyway =)

William