2013 I officially despise you...........................

This year has been filled with so much heartache sadness and stress. I so do not even know where to begin. One thing I know is that for the first time ever I will not be sad to see this year come to and end. We have struggled with loss, medical issues involving our child, and home improvement disasters that need to be redone and will cost a small fortune. Every couple of months life just knocks us back down again. I am unsure we have been standing straight up in a long time.

Lets face it.................we have all been there.

It always starts out as a semi normal car ride to run errands but their is just enough of a mixture of whining, crying, seat kicking, and fighting to tip you off that this trip to the grocery store will be one for the memory books. It begins with them begging to not have to sit in the cart, so you grab a basket clearly forgetting what happened last time you allowed this. Epic fail #1 first of all you need like 20 items one of those being a gallon of milk and second EPIC fail you just allowed the kids to roam free. It begins with can we get this asked over and over again over every item in the store even items they have no idea what they are. You try to speed up a little bit as they are almost an aisle ahead of you and by now your getting looks from the older ladies or the moms with the baby sleeping in her cart making a mental note that her kids will never be that loud in a store. You want to stare back at her disapproving face and let her know her time will come. Instead you give a polite smile while laughing on the inside.
Next you explain why we do not need to buy donuts or nutty bars and offer granola bars and yogurt instead. SUCCESS only the nutty bars ended up in the cart donuts back on the shelf after all nutty bars do have peanut butter right?
You move along feeling half accomplished when one of them try to be "helpful" and end up knocking over the display of paper towel that was on your list. You quickly try to restack it, give up and get out of aisle 4 fast before you hear the clean up in aisle 4 called over the loud speaker. At this point you are at the wine and beer aisle. You refrain from drinking it right then and there after the day you have had but make sure to add one.... okay two bottles to your cart. By the time you make it to the register the kids that were running ahead are now lingering behind complaining how tired they are and that they need a cart. That's okay though because the candy catches their eye in the check out line that is about 20 minutes long. This means for at least ten of those 20 minutes you are going to spend explaining to them why they can not have candy and telling them they will get cavities. Once you have finally paid there is that last hurdle to get by THE DREADED gumball machines. You look around for another escape root and then just try to distract them as you walk by. This never works and you end up .75 cents shorter in your wallet. By the time I get in the car an hour after beginning I have about 30 items and only about ten of them were off my list which means in the next few days I will end up back at the store again. This time lets hope daddy is home. =)

School is officially out for the year...............

Its def. bitter sweet. I did not realize I would shed as many tears on the last day as I did on the first. Mason is leaving behind one of the most caring, dedicated teachers I have ever met. Mason is moving on to second grade such a difference next year then this year. He moves upstairs, the bathrooms are not longer in the classrooms, they switch teachers for some of their classes. To us this may not sound big but to them its huge. When did second grade become middle school. What happened to staying all day with the same teacher and settling into a routine with them. They are seven years old. They are already growing up way too fast.

William is going to pre K 2 days a week in the fall. Pre K has become the new kindergarten. The expectations are no longer coloring and learning shapes and colors. They are learning letters, numbers, site words. They are expected to attend 2 full days a week. Taking care of most of their own needs while there. Again growing up too fast. As a parent that thinks the expectations are too high there is nothing I can do but buckle up for the ride. I can disagree with it but can not hold my child back from any of it or he will pay the price by being behind his peers.

Dylan is staying in the same school, with most of the same teachers and just moving up a grade. For him this is suppose to be an easy year when it comes to change not a crazy one like last year when he entered the junior high for his first year ever. Or as chaotic and scary as it will be next year when he enters the high school as a freshmen. However this could prove to be one of the more challenging year he is yet to endure. That is another blog post all together.

Where have the years gone? Where are the babies crying at night who needed me. Where are the little arms reaching up for me to hold them whenever I was trying to get something done. Where is the diaper that needed to be changed or the little nose that needing wiping or that baby that just wanted to be rocked???? You know all those tasks that we use to take for granted and even sometimes sigh about. Looking back I sure do miss that baby that just needed me at 3am.

I am hoping to enjoy the summer and try to think positive for thoughts for the rest of 2013 since the first part of it has certainly been a challenge.

The count down begins.........

I am always beyond excited when school lets out for the summer or when the official less then two week count down begins. This year I am filled with bitter sweet feelings. Excited to be schedule free, spend tons of time with the boys, and live into camp part time. Dreading leaving Mason's teacher. The school year just flew by. She is truly on of the most amazing teachers ever. She has helped him come so far this year. He really took to her and for Mason that says a lot. I know he will have a hard time moving on to the next grade. She was not just another teacher to him. She truly is a wonderful person.

The other bitter sweet moment is that William will be going to pre K in the fall. WOW. my baby will be gone 2 full days a week come fall... That is so sad...

Dylan will be ONE year away from highschool upon his return to school in the fall. where has the time gone?

IN search of ME

I am not sure when I became such a procrastinator? It is funny because it does not really fit in with my needing to have a plan and have everything ready way I normally am. The last few weeks I know what is upcoming and I know what needs to be done and I wait until the last minute when I ended up rushing and grumpy. Yard sale for instance. My idea. My plan. I picked the date. Yet here I am two days before and have not even pulled out a bin. Not only do I need to pull them out I need to transport them to my aunts house. YEP .... I have not done a thing. I think I liked the old me better. I def. plan on finding her soon and asking her to return. Although she may have annoyed others with her quirky ways and need for schedules she never missed a beat, always had a plan, and always had things in order. I pray for her safe return. =)

Daddy's boy

I may get mad, frustrated, annoyed, at my husband but whenever I look at him with our boys I fall in love with him all over again. He may not be perfect but he is an amazing daddy to our boys. I could not ask for a more loving, caring, and devoted father for my children. They are beyond blessed to have this man in their lives. I watch their little faces light up when he pulls in at night. I watch their sad little faces when he has to leave in the morning. Most of all I love to watch him watch them. He is not the most sensitive man by any means. He actually comes off as quiet and gruff. However these boys can melt his heart and bring out the soft side in him. Whether its a boo boo or a bad dream he is always there to pick them back up after they fall. With fathers day right around the corner I just wanted to take a moment and be thankful for the wonderful man in our lives.

Random Thoughts

This is what 2013 has taught me more than ever........Do not take anything or anyone for granted. What is yours to embrace today, perhaps may not be tomorrow. Laugh... laugh at the things that strike you funny and at the things that make you want to shake your head. BREATH... a few deep breaths can do wonders before any other action is taken. THINK. Do not make rash fast decisions. Those are the ones we usually look back and question. LOVE. love with your whole heart to those who deserve it and more so to those who do not. LIVE. Live every day as if it is your last day here on earth. Sadly it could be. SMILE it can make you feel better and perhaps that stranger at the grocery store who is having an off day. BE PATIENT. Take a minute and reflect, breath, think, love, smile and be patient.