Confessions of a Stay At Home Mom....

Friday, October 19, 2012

Daddy moments.....

I am always home in the mornings to get the boys off to school. I am the one to choose the youngest boys clothes right down to the matching socks. I have always been one to want everything to match. I have certain things I just think go together and other things that do not stand a chance. Josh is the exact opposite of me. As long as they have clothes on he really does not care about any more details then that. Clearly I found out today he does not even notice if its not their own clothes that they are wearing......

I left early this morning, before leaving I laid the boys clothes out. One on the recliner and the other on the love seat. Perhaps labeling whose was whose would of been a great idea. Of course who in their right mind would of thought that. Laying them out was my way of avoiding Josh telling Mason to go get dressed for school and Mason coming out in the craziest non matching outfit he could find.

Josh dropped the boys off to me where I was. Mason had exactly 2 minutes to get in the car with my mom to go to school. He stepped out of Josh's car and I had to blink and rub my eyes TWICE to see if I was looking correctly. I WAS ... Mason was wearing Williams clothes. So my almost size 6 first grader was crammed into his little brothers 3t Jeans and shirt. I was mortified. I had No time to go back home to find the correct clothes, Mason needed to be at school and I had to finish what I was doing. When I asked Josh how he made such a mistake he simply said, you said Mason's clothes were in the recliner? These were the clothes in the recliner????? YEP you guessed it William was wearing Mason's hoodie and shirt...........not jeans though. His father saw him in those and could not even begin to imagine why I had laid him out Jeans 2 sizes to big for him. RIGHT .. those were for Mason. YES I admit the moment I was done my prior commitment I went to the school, new matching clothes in hand and had Mason change. HAPPY FRIDAY

Friday, October 12, 2012

Looking back.... and ahead

Josh and I decided to take the kids to Moose Head Lake on Saturday. It is about a 6 hour round trip car ride for us. We decided to do it all in one day. Josh's grandfather owns a camp up that way and Josh has always wanted to show the boys. Josh's grandfather passed away when Mason was a baby and William although never had the honor to meet him carries on his name.

So we got up early loaded the car and ventured off on our long journey. As we arrived closer to our destination I thought about the last time I took the drive this way. It was over 7 years earlier for Josh and My honeymoon. I glanced in the back seat at the three kids arguing in the back and realized just how different our lives were today then they were when our own personal journey had begun what seemed like forever ago.

We spent the day (when not in the car) going to different places that were special to Josh. The boys really seemed to enjoy seeing the camp and going through a few stores. They seemed to enjoy fighting, and taking turns on who could whine the most in the car as well.

For me it was a day of reflection and memories. When Josh and I took the drive all those years before. We were alone in the car. We only had one child at home. We had only been married for 24 hours or less. We were pretty sure we had our future figured out and planned. We talked about what we would name our babies and all the other fun things the future held for us. We have def. had a great 7.5 years, however looking back it is interesting to me that we did not see the problems, struggles, or heartache that may lie ahead for us. We have built a family along the way as well as turned our house into a home. We have learned more about love, and sadly we have learned more about loss. I would like to say Looking back I would not change a thing, but I have never been one for that expression. Of course there are things I would change, or avoid. Words I would think longer and harder about before saying. I would strive to be a better wife and mother. However we can not go back, only ahead.

As I held the same hand tightly that I had held on the very same drive 7.5 years before I realized that if we were to take this same drive in another 7 years I would be having the same thoughts. I will have learned more about love and loss by then. I will have overcome more struggles. I would and will have enjoyed many many happy moments. I think the only thing I can do is live in the present, remember the past, and hope for the best future ever. In the end, none of us really know what is out there for us. No one really knows how our story will go, or how it will end.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

My Mason

From

October

October brings on so many changes for our house hold. The weather starts to get colder and the winter clothes start to slowly enter the closet until that is all that is left in there. The chilly night air often requires the wood stove one or two nights a week. One if Josh has his way. He hates to have to give in and finally light the stove. It is actually amusing.

The kids start to settle into a school routine and back to school slowly becomes the new norm for us.

October this year means in less then two months my baby boy will be 4. Looking back I can barely believe it. It means Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are not far off.

It means another cold Maine winter is heading our way, which I def. have a love hate relationship with.

I guess ready or not FALL is here.

I do love that it means, pumpkins, apples, and gorgeous foliage. I love that it means curling up in front of the woods stove together and having movie night.

Another season and another change is amongst us. I guess we should just embrace it.

Monday, September 10, 2012

SUPER MOM FAIL

I would like to tell you that I am up before the alarm goes off with coffee in hand and breakfast on the stove. I would like to tell you I have made all the lunches the night before and have ironed all the kids clothes and they are laying nicely in each of their rooms to put on that morning........... YEAH RIGHT....... Here is my morning.. alarm goes off at five thirty ..... I hit snooze.....TWICE. Then slowly drag myself down the hall to make sure DYLAN is up. He usually is not. He falls into the shower.. needs to be reminded 3 times to hurry up...... Then comes out half awake, half dressed and bag half packed. I can barely tell what he has on since my eyes are not fully open yet. I hand him a pop tart (not always toasted) and a cup of water, LUNCH money for the lunch I NEVER packed last night. I pat him on the back and say have a great day. I then fall asleep on the couch for another 20 minutes until I have to wake Mason up and start the same process over again. SUPER MOM I AM NOT. =-)

Thursday, August 30, 2012

It is that time of year again.

Starting a new school year . I know this brings so many mixed emotions to all mothers every where. I am usually a basket case and just cry and cry and feel old, and think about all their mile stones through out the years all day long. HOWEVER this year was a little different. Mason and Dylan decided to spend their very last week of Summer vacation completely at each others throats. Fighting, yelling, whining, crying. They helped me adapt to them going back to school yesterday much easier. However, The day got off to a rocky start yesterday when Dylan's bus came 30 minutes earlier then scheduled, so we waited not knowing we missed the bus due to all the other kids on the road also being out there waiting. So Finally I decided to bring him to school by this time he was late. So I worried myself sick over him all day long. Come to find out he had a great day and LOVES middle school. Let's hope he says that a week from now. After bringing Dylan late. I rushed up here to get Mason on the bus. His bus was right on time. He climbed on and never looked back. <-- that is when my broken heart started. I missed him already walking back up the long lonely hill to our house. He did not need me any more. I mean isn't that pretty much what he said when he climbed on the bus and NEVER looked back. I puttered around the house HAVING TWO boys at school and only one home. The house felt empty. I tried busying myself but then started looking at baby pictures and listening to sad music, all the stuff. I had told myself two days pryer would NOT be happening this year since I could NOT wait to send these two children who could not stop yelling and fighting back to school. I was wrong. It was 9am and I missed them terribly. I kept trying to figure out where at school they were at this time, and if Mason was happy. I kept hoping Dylan was not lost. There was one point when I almost would of welcomed hearing them fight........ THEN....I heard a crash. All the dvds I had recently sorted to start going through things to clean out were in the middle of the floor. The whole bin was upside down. The couch cushions were on the floor and the DOG was being held captive in the bin that had previously held the dvds. There was ONE very busy, very cute, yet terribly naughty three year old sitting on top of the bin. I shook my head, was brought back fast to reality and realized, I probably was NOT going to be sad and lonely this whole school year. Not if this 3 year old has anything to say about it. The boys both had great days. I was thrilled to see them at the end of the day. By 4pm yesterday we were all back under one roof. William was off getting into something and Mason and Dylan were fighting over the Tv. Welcome home boys..... I missed you !!!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The bond of brothers

From Drop Box

Having these two close in age can be a blessing many days. They share a bond that I hope they treasure for a lifetime. They share laughter, tears, memories and time outs. They can watch a movie together and we can hear them laughing from the bedroom. They can fight and make up in minutes. In an unfamiliar situation Mason is always there with his hand on Williams back leading him around. I am not sure if he does this for Will's security or his own but it melts my heart. Please do not get me wrong they get in many tiffs as brothers do. However at the end of the day. They are the best of friends.